Families aiming to recreate their life after separation and/or divorce often experience a significant amount of emotional distress. Adding to this difficult transition often stems from when either parent informs their attorney that their relationship with their child(ren) has become unpleasant/troubling, and/or when their child(ren) has been resisting/refusing contact with them as a result.
Attorneys play a pivotal role for their client in locating a forensically informed mental health professional. Therefore, if the family law attorney is not already working with a mental health professional, one will need to be selected. The following tips may help navigate not only locating/selecting a mental health professional, but may also assist in understanding the mental health professional’s role, as it relates to reconnecting fractured families.
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A Reunification therapist can best work to repair the parent-child relationship with a non-ambiguous appointment order. Many reunification therapists will have a sample order to provide. It is vital that the therapist be specifically named in the order. In addition, payment responsibilities should be outlined and clarified, so that services are not negatively impacted and/or delayed due to disagreement(s) over financial obligations.
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The reunification therapist, when it comes to an approach, will consider multiple hypothesis as to the reason(s) the child(ren) is resisting contact and/or the relationship is strained. The reason(s) that a child rejects a parent are often multifaceted.
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Although a reunification therapist should not dismiss that irrational rejection is a possibility, they also should not deem every case as “alienation,” as the terms “reunification” and “alienation” are not synonymous.
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Even though the reunification therapist will often review collateral data, their analysis significantly differs from that of a forensic evaluator. While a different level of data review is often required, it is pivotal that the reunification therapist identifies and understands the family’s current circumstances, so as to better assist the family in moving forward. Being made aware of previously attempted approaches/methodologies by other (current and previous) mental health professionals is vital. Likewise, it is equally key to initially assess the family, as not every family will be well-suited for reunification therapy.
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Best practices include that all family members participate. Although the strained relationship may be between a parent and a child(ren), it is vital that the other parent be included, so that success can continue once gains have been made in a therapeutic setting. The number of sessions will differ depending on the specific family needs (and case factors).
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A reunification therapist will typically work in combination with all family members. Therefore, excluding one parent from the process is usually counterproductive, as it potentially leads the parent to feeling excluded, and risks the parent identifying the therapist as biased.
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It is often (but not always) prudent to have a team working together in family cases involving resist-refuse dynamics. A reunification therapist may therefore seek to have in place separate therapists for the parents and the child(ren). However, each case should be assessed individually to determine appropriate staffing needs.
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A reunification therapist should not serve in the role of an “advocate,” and the stance of the reunification therapist should be that of objectivity and neutrality. They also should be able to identify and reconcile differences between a forensic role and a therapeutic role.
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The reunification therapist should have established policies and procedures, and be impartial with communication to legal representatives. Generally, a reunification therapist will speak with both attorneys involving any scheduled call(s), and will typically refrain from one-sided communication about substantive matters.
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Reunification therapists will often provide updates to the Court for issues of non-compliance (e.g., parent not keeping scheduled appointments, parent scheduling activities that hinder Reunification Therapy, etc.). When a reunification therapist hears a parent say, “The child can’t meet on Monday due to sports. Tuesday, they have piano practice. Wednesday is the child’s relax day. Thursday is friend night, and Friday we have family night. Will Saturday at 5:00 p.m. work?” the Reunification Therapist may reasonably conclude that the parent is at minimum, disinterested in playing an active role to reconnect the child(ren) with the other parent – or does not believe reunification to be a priority. Ensuring your client understands this aspect of the reunification therapists role, may aid the parent in complying with scheduling mandates.
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Reunification therapists will understand the role that anxiety and stressors plays in each client’s case. Increased anxiety and litigation factors may lead some parents to view neutral non-ambiguous information as threating. The reunification therapist can help neutralize perceived threats through transparency and even-handed communication.
Monika Logan is an owner and the Director of Texas Premier Counseling Services, PLLC (Texas PCS) located in Frisco, Texas. She specializes in Parental Alienation as well as troubled, damaged, and/or strained parent-child relationships. She provides counselling services for parents and their children in conflict and/or those struggling with issues related to separation and/or divorce. Ms. Logan offers Parenting Facilitation Services to help parents reduce conflict, and she helps repair parent-child relationship breaches as a Reunification Counselor.
Copyright © 2021 by Monika Logan, M.A., LPC, LSOTP
